In response to this week’s challenge from the Pop Culture League, my singular man-crush is taken to the next level. The League asked which life-like wax figure would you want to add to your collection. Sure, a Jessica Rabbit, Lara Croft, or Harley Quinn would be quite tempting, but I don’t think that selection would go over well with my wife (though my two sons might grow to appreciate it), and I don’t have room for a giant Hulk (though that would be amazing).
There is of course only one right answer — Kurt Russell.
Okay, so I get a scary-real life-size Kurt Russell for the cave, but I would also need his various costumes, wigs, etc, and this is where it gets creepy (yeah, it wasn’t creepy until now). I would need to hire a curator to come in every few months to update the look, so fake Mr. Russell could take on one of his many screen personas, because I just could not bring myself to dress a life-size G.I. Joe doll with real hair and kung-fu grip.
Think about it, at any given point in time, standing guard at the cave’s entrance you might find Snake Plissken, Wyatt Earp, Jack Burton, R.J. MacReady, or Elvis, among others. Awesome.
A few years ago, I wrote about how I wanted a life-size soldier ape in the cave (and I still do), and Kurt Russell is no stranger to this blog either. I wonder what Madame Tussauds’ does with all their decommissioned wax figures? Hopefully, they don’t just melt them down for candles! There’s one downtown not far from here. Hmmm.